


Yoko Ono and Joke Quills Are to Blame

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, apparently Evans thinks they're dating... And the direct written approach wasn't the best idea... How does one go about snogging their best mate? Or second best mate? Whatever. Hogwarts-era.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yoko Ono and Joke Quills Are to Blame

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote some Remus/Sirius. Yes, yes, it's all very typical and cliche, but the idea sort of came from [this](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lof3a1QUG61qdckdro1_400.png), after I'd just read Shoebox Project, and it was all downhill from there.
> 
> This is actually sort of old, I'm just moving it over from an old account.

The idea of an indirect approach horrified Sirius. What use was there for flowers and… okay, well, actually Moony might quite like some chocolates, but Sirius highly doubted that it would lead to romance between the two of them. Really, that was the rub right there. Okay, okay, that wasn't supposed to be a pun, there was no rubbing going on yet except between Sirius and his right hand. The… conundrum, shall it be called, was that Sirius had feelings for his best mate at all. It wasn't even his fault, really. He blamed Evans. Honestly, he blamed Evans for everything that went wrong in his life – she was like the Yoko to their Beatles (he really only listened to muggle music to piss off his mum, but the analogy was appropriate), but this time it was actually her fault.

He'd been sitting in the common room, minding his own bloody business, when suddenly he'd looked up and found Evans grinning at him. "What are you on about, Evans?"

James had tried to get him to be nice, and had failed miserably. He didn't care if he was living up to being called immature – he didn't like having some girl mucking about in their group workings. "Nothing," she'd replied, but her smirk remained firmly in place.

"Honestly." He huffed and stood from the game of Wizard's Chess he'd been playing by himself. He may as well bother Evans. Moony was off studying, Peter was off with his _girlfriend_ and James was upstairs getting ready to come back down and bother Evans himself. "What do you want? If you keep staring at me like that, I'm only left to assume you've fallen to fancy my irresistible charms and James would be awfully heartbroken, with only me left to comfort him."

Evans laughed. She _laughed_. Clearly, she had gone mad when she'd started snogging James. She never laughed at Sirius' jokes. Truly, he was a bit proud of himself. "If you really must know," she said, "I've been wondering when you and Remus are going to come out and properly announce your wedding."

Well, bugger all. Evans could joke. "Very funny." He indulged her with a smirk before turning to go up to his dorm. James would be down soon, and he had no desire to be sick all over the common room – which he would if he had to witness the two of them together.

"I'm not trying to be funny, Sirius." He turned, and the grin on her face said otherwise. He gave her a look. "Well, only a little. You two really are quite good together – and don't worry, I don't think James knows."

Sirius could only stand there, flabbergasted. Evans… She honestly thought he and Moony were together. He barked out a laugh as he headed up to the dorm. He couldn't even dignify her seriousness with a response. He and Moony? That was beyond laughable… That was…

…That was actually not a totally sick-inducing train of thought. Oh, _bugger all_.

So, there he was, up in his dorm and contemplating how one goes about snogging their best mate. Or second-best mate. Or whatever.

He could just sort of… pounce him. That worked on that one Hufflepuff girl… What was her name? No, no, that wasn't the kind of thing he was going for at all. He would have to tell Moony first. But what does one say? ' _Do you think you'd like to snog me?_ ' No.

These thoughts plagued him until History of Magic the next day. These were the times of immense boredom and note-writing. He took his usual seat in the back of the class with James, Remus, and Peter. He'd managed to avoid Moony without actually avoiding him for most of the morning, but now he was sitting right next to him, it was time to take action. He would write a note, and simply tell Remus he wanted to shag him. Wait… Shit. Already, things were getting worse. He jotted an honest note, and passed it to his mate.

_We should snog sometime._

He watched as Remus read the note and his eyes went wide – the right one even seemed to twitch a little.

_What?_

It was then, after this action had been taken, that Sirius chose to think. This was the usual method, but… Well, Moony wasn't some girl! Seduction of a Moony is not likely to work out as easily. He thought quickly of a way to pass it as a joke – which Remus likely thought it was anyways – and figure out a different plan. Then, it hit him.

_I mean… study sometime! Damn this quill! It must be one from Zonko's._

He made a show of shaking the quill until it slipped out of his hand and fluttered onto Ted Tonks' head. He realized that studying was hardly a more convincing substitution, but it was something. He pulled out another quill and noted with a glance that Moony had given him a half smile before returning his attention to Professor Binns.

Later that night, as James and Peter were off with their respective dames, Sirius found himself alone in the dorm with Remus, and he decided to start up the conversation another way.

"You know, Evans apparently thinks we're dating."

Moony put down his book and raised an eyebrow. "She was probably trying to get your pants in a knot, Padfoot."

Sirius twisted around so that he was lying sideways across the bed on his back, his head dangling off the edge. "No, I don't think she was. Well, I thought she was at first, and then she got all gushy over it and said that she really did think we were a cute couple, and she wouldn't tell James." He paused for a moment. "You know, that awful sweater of yours almost looks alright from this angle."

Remus shook his head and turned back to his book. "Well, Evans is a bit off in the head, isn't she? I mean, she's dating Prongs. Also, I fully believe that someday, you will run out of remarks on my sweaters."

"But why would she think we're going steady? It's not like we go around snogging in public." He noted a twitch of Remus' eyebrow. "It's not like we go around snogging at all, I suppose – and I'll never run out of things to say about those sweaters, Moony."

There was a thud as Remus finally closed his book and turned his full attention on Sirius. "There is more to dating than snogging, Padfoot - though I suppose there isn't in the way that you date someone."

Scoffing, Sirius resituated himself so he was right-side up again and sitting cross-legged. "It's not as though anyone I snog wants to hear me talk. You, Prongs and Wormtail are the only ones who actually put up with me – you know that."

There was a moment where Remus' brow furrowed, creating that adorable little crinkle in his forehead – oh _bugger_. "Well I had assumed at least one of those girls you'd taken to the broom shed was able to put up with you in some capacity."

"Honestly, Moony, why'd you think they don't stick around? As you know, the charm only lasts so long."

At this, Remus snorted. "That is true…. None of this upsets you?"

"It's not like I want someone to stick around when they won't put up with me. I suspect it's thoughts like these that will keep me a bachelor until have aged extremely well into my natural death, but no, none of it upsets me. I'll have you, even if James is off buggering Evans and Wormtail's run off with that Ravenclaw girl of his."

"That's your plan, then?" Remus' face was a mix of shock and amusement. "Grow old with the werewolf? What about my sweaters and my books?"

Sirius let out a laugh and grinned. "I'm sure there'll be room for all of your books and sweaters. I don't have that many things. At least you're still fun in your own Moony-ish way. Prongs and Wormtail will probably be off having _children_. Where's the fun in that?"

"No wonder Evans thinks we're dating," Remus murmured, looking down at his bedspread.

There was a pause, but it wasn't particularly awkward. Sirius took the time to absorb all of the truth he'd just shared with Remus. He really could picture the two of them sharing a flat – having a room without any furniture for that particularly furry time of the month. All of these things just kept flying through his head. "Do you really think we seem like a couple?"

Remus turned back to face him, a faint blush now staining his cheeks. "Well – I hadn't really thought about it – not seriously – until you said that Evans thought we were."

"What do you mean, not seriously?"

Ignoring any cracks on his name, Sirius moved to the edge of his bed and looked closely at Remus. Something in the air seemed to shift.

"Well – I… Nothing, Padfoot. Never you mind."

That simply wouldn't do. Action had to be taken. Quickly, Sirius stood, took the two steps to Remus' bed and kissed him sloppily on the corner of his mouth. When he pulled away, the slate blue eyes before him were comically wide.

"You mean you've never thought about that?"

Thinking over the past few moments, Sirius realized he had perhaps done something catastrophically idiotic. However, there was nothing that could be done about it now.

"Once or twice. Maybe." Remus swallowed a little, and Sirius plopped down on the bed next to him, absentmindedly setting a hand on his knee.

"I hadn't really, until Evans said that." He cleared his throat. "Now I really can't stop thinking about it."

"Well, maybe…" Remus cleared his throat as well. "Maybe you don't have to just think about it."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, but wasted no time in connecting their lips properly, and finding that Moony really did taste a little like chocolate – just as he'd expected.

"Perhaps," Remus murmured between kisses, "I should send Evans a 'Thank You' card."


End file.
